Sandyrb
13 Dec 2009, 15:42
Hi there folks. This one has been doing the rounds for a while; but if you haven't seen it I thought you'd all appreciate a good laugh. :)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
25 Tips On How To Become A Record Producer
1) We all know that it's the equipment that makes the recording so if you have enough gear or plugins it's bound to sound great.
2) There's no need to learn about recording because anyone with ears and a computer can do it. You can make anything sound great with a computer.
3) Experience counts for nothing. All you need is ears, enthusiasm and the undying belief that you are right at all times.
4) You must ONLY listen to the kind of music that you like to work with.
5) If you're broke, all you need is a mic (Behringer if possible), a mixer (Behringer again) and a PC. I've read magazine adverts and they say this is exactly what the "pros" use all the time. Who needs expensive stuff? Plugins are free, right?
6) When you're mixing, everything must be louder than everything else. Lots of heavy compression is what you need.
7) Once you've settled on a sound, don't ever change it. Stick rigidly to what you know.
8) Always tell everyone how great you are and make sure you always have an excuse for why other peoples' work seems to sound better. Everything you do is bound to sound great because YOU are a PRODUCER.
9) Everything sounds great if you close-mic or, even better, D.I. it. Yes, D.I. those drums.
10) Never take advice off industry professionals because they're so set in their ways that they can't teach you anything. They just don't understand the way records are made today.
11) The more plugins you use, the better it's going to sound. More is always better, especially EQ, compression, delay, stereo expander, chorus, gating and reverb. In fact especially all of them.
12) Always believe that your work sounds better than everyone elses. You have more plugins, so obviously it must do.
13) "Producer" is just a title, not a job. Relax!
14) Songwriting and arrangement aren't important because if you produce it enough, anything will sound great!
15) Always make sure that the kick drum is bangin' (hint - use lots of EQ). Nothing else matters.
16) You can turn a mono guitar into stereo by copying the track. One left, one right. Simple! Any fool can do it. For even wider stereo, EQ one of them.
17) Always make tracks to your own personal tastes and don't take input from other people. If you like your tracks, everyone else will.
18) Once you've done your first tune you can sit back and relax - you've arrived. The world will beat a path to your door.
19) Mixing desks all do the same thing regardless of price so the choice between SSL and Behringer is a no-brainer.
20) It's cheaper if you do your own mastering. Mastering just means making everything super-loud. Redder is better.
21) Always get drunk or stoned before mixing because you want to hear it the same way the end listener does.
22) Always work with amateur musicians because they appreciate your abilities as much as their own. They also get a much more honest performance. Loop the best bits.
23) You don't need to know anything about music, all you need to know is how to make it sound "phat" with lots of plugins.
24) Always push your ADAT well into the red for that classic, warm tape sound.
25) Being able to get great sounds at the tracking stage doesn't matter because YOU CAN FIX IT IN THE MIX!!!!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Cheers,
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
25 Tips On How To Become A Record Producer
1) We all know that it's the equipment that makes the recording so if you have enough gear or plugins it's bound to sound great.
2) There's no need to learn about recording because anyone with ears and a computer can do it. You can make anything sound great with a computer.
3) Experience counts for nothing. All you need is ears, enthusiasm and the undying belief that you are right at all times.
4) You must ONLY listen to the kind of music that you like to work with.
5) If you're broke, all you need is a mic (Behringer if possible), a mixer (Behringer again) and a PC. I've read magazine adverts and they say this is exactly what the "pros" use all the time. Who needs expensive stuff? Plugins are free, right?
6) When you're mixing, everything must be louder than everything else. Lots of heavy compression is what you need.
7) Once you've settled on a sound, don't ever change it. Stick rigidly to what you know.
8) Always tell everyone how great you are and make sure you always have an excuse for why other peoples' work seems to sound better. Everything you do is bound to sound great because YOU are a PRODUCER.
9) Everything sounds great if you close-mic or, even better, D.I. it. Yes, D.I. those drums.
10) Never take advice off industry professionals because they're so set in their ways that they can't teach you anything. They just don't understand the way records are made today.
11) The more plugins you use, the better it's going to sound. More is always better, especially EQ, compression, delay, stereo expander, chorus, gating and reverb. In fact especially all of them.
12) Always believe that your work sounds better than everyone elses. You have more plugins, so obviously it must do.
13) "Producer" is just a title, not a job. Relax!
14) Songwriting and arrangement aren't important because if you produce it enough, anything will sound great!
15) Always make sure that the kick drum is bangin' (hint - use lots of EQ). Nothing else matters.
16) You can turn a mono guitar into stereo by copying the track. One left, one right. Simple! Any fool can do it. For even wider stereo, EQ one of them.
17) Always make tracks to your own personal tastes and don't take input from other people. If you like your tracks, everyone else will.
18) Once you've done your first tune you can sit back and relax - you've arrived. The world will beat a path to your door.
19) Mixing desks all do the same thing regardless of price so the choice between SSL and Behringer is a no-brainer.
20) It's cheaper if you do your own mastering. Mastering just means making everything super-loud. Redder is better.
21) Always get drunk or stoned before mixing because you want to hear it the same way the end listener does.
22) Always work with amateur musicians because they appreciate your abilities as much as their own. They also get a much more honest performance. Loop the best bits.
23) You don't need to know anything about music, all you need to know is how to make it sound "phat" with lots of plugins.
24) Always push your ADAT well into the red for that classic, warm tape sound.
25) Being able to get great sounds at the tracking stage doesn't matter because YOU CAN FIX IT IN THE MIX!!!!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Cheers,